Navraj

NAVRAJ, 20

I’m Pun­jabi, I’m Sikh, I’m Queer and I live in the Unit­ed States. My par­ents both immi­grat­ed here and so I grew up with nar­ra­tives of patri­o­tism being lit­er­al­ly shoved down my throat because that’s Amer­i­ca. With­in these nar­ra­tives of patri­o­tism, pret­ty much any objec­tion to the Amer­i­can sys­tem or the sta­tus quo is looked down upon. You’re sup­posed to ded­i­cate your life to achiev­ing the Amer­i­can dream, devel­op­ing Amer­i­ca and con­tribut­ing to the Amer­i­can econ­o­my. That is a mean­ing of life. And again, I real­ly gen­uine­ly think it has ripped peo­ple away from like what they real­ly want in life. Things that are real­ly impor­tant to them, their fam­i­ly and com­mu­ni­ty. This idea of patri­o­tism has detached peo­ple from their fam­i­lies back home, because they feel this pres­sure that they need to join West­ern cul­ture and become patri­ot­ic. And they can’t have alle­giances with their own coun­try any­more because that’s not patri­ot­ic. so what ends up hap­pen­ing is that you have fam­i­lies that are per­fect­ly fine togeth­er back in South Asia or back any­where, that then feel the pres­sure to send their kids to the West and turn them Amer­i­can so they can get good jobs. And then their kids end up being lone­ly in Amer­i­ca. And then their par­ents end up being lone­ly back home in South Asia. And every­one’s just sad and lone­ly, but at least we’re “Amer­i­can”

Is to be Amer­i­can, to be lone­ly and sad and away from your fam­i­ly? Maybe when I was younger and impres­sion­able, and I was told these things and patri­o­tism felt a lot more pos­i­tive and it felt more of a duty to me, but now, I’ve just nev­er real­ly seen patri­o­tism as positive. 

An impor­tant philoso­pher said ‘be lazy in every­thing except for in being lazy’.  So, in things like school and work and career, I’m not going to say I do the bare min­i­mum, but I do enough that I feel is I am proud of. Beyond that, I do not think it is worth my while to waste my ener­gy on things that are not liv­ing and exist­ing and con­nect­ing and, you know, hav­ing con­ver­sa­tions and being with friends and just spend­ing time with my fam­i­ly and learn­ing from them, because those are the things I’m going to remem­ber. I’m not gonna remem­ber wak­ing up for work and turn­ing in my assign­ments and buy­ing stuff. 

Is to be Amer­i­can, to be lone­ly and sad and away from your fam­i­ly? Maybe when I was younger and impres­sion­able, and I was told these things and patri­o­tism felt a lot more pos­i­tive and it felt more of a duty to me, but now, I’ve just nev­er real­ly seen patri­o­tism as positive. 

I feel most inspired by major­i­ty of the world. If you look at our mate­r­i­al, human con­di­tions, sor­ry to be Marx­ist, if you real­ly look at it, it would be that 70–80% of peo­ple are oppressed and col­o­nized peo­ple whose pre-colo­nial beliefs are that we exist to be strange, we exist to exist, we exist to be free and to grow just as things in nature grow with­out know­ing why they’re grow­ing. They just do it and they flour­ish. These are the beliefs that I feel like we should always be run­ning by. 

I’m try­ing to fig­ure out and nav­i­gate on a day to day basis how to bal­ance the need for joy, my own joy, the joy of my com­mu­ni­ty and the dire urgent need to mate­ri­al­ly help peo­ple and stop peo­ple’s suf­fer­ing. I think this has required a lot analy­sis of my posi­tion. What is my cur­rent posi­tion? Where has my focus been in the past? For exam­ple, for a cou­ple of years in the past, I was involved in non­prof­it orga­niz­ing, pro­gres­sive orga­niz­ing, cam­pus orga­niz­ing and elec­toral orga­niz­ing etc. 

When the pan­dem­ic end­ed high school, I start­ed to ques­tion whether a lot of the things that I did in high school were impact­ful. I start­ed to ques­tion the things that I was sup­posed to be doing, the things that I was told that would lead to change, who was I being guid­ed by, where was that com­ing from — the nar­ra­tive of how to make a change. Upon ana­lyz­ing that, I real­ized that, though it was good work, it was either mate­ri­al­ly not help­ing any­one or only help­ing a select few. That real­iza­tion required me to step back from a lot of the work I was doing and reassess and reform my guid­ing prin­ci­ples. I am anti-cap­i­tal­ist, but it is my duty to make sure my fam­i­ly is secure. It is my duty to dis­trib­ute my wealth among those who are my kin and com­mu­ni­ty who needs it. I real­ized that I should be invest­ing on myself. I hate the idea of “what do you want to be when you grow up”, as if you can only be one thing when you grow up. But I think as long as I am liv­ing my truth, with the guid­ance and the prin­ci­ples that I feel secure with, and I can fur­ther help peo­ple with their own truths, how­ev­er that looks like for them.